How to Talk to a Girl You Like

How to Talk to a Girl You Like


Get Comfortable


1
Develop your interests. You don't need to be a brain to find things to talk about, but you do need to have passions and interests. A person who can talk naturally about things he's interested in is always better conversation than someone armed with pre-written prompts and a vague hope of getting a date.
Make a short list. List everything you're interested in. Go for more detail rather than less. For example, instead of “music,” write “playing classical guitar, going to concerts, collecting old funk LPs.”

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Expand the list into topics. Using the example above, you might think about what brand of guitar you own or rent versus the brand you wish you could have, what concerts you've been to, and which funk bands you enjoy.
Make a mental note of your opinion on each topic. This will help you to know yourself better. When you talk about any subject you have an interest in, you'll be able to speak confidently about it and explain why you're interested in it, which makes good conversation.


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2
Practice saying things out loud. Get used to talking, or you'll never be able to talk well. One of the easiest and simplest things you can do to improve your comfort level is simply to say things aloud to yourself. This helps you get comfortable with the sound of your own voice, and with speaking rather than simply responding to others.
Find a time and a place. Whenever you're home alone is a great choice. It doesn't have to be regularly scheduled; just seize opportunities as they arise.
Say something. Try to talk a little bit about something rather than just mumbling a few words. Tell yourself about the plot of the last TV show or movie you watched. If you can't think of anything to say, find a book and read aloud from it.
When reading from a book, try to make the words sound natural, rather than the stilted sight-reading drone that many people lapse into. Read a sentence or two in your head first, then say them aloud as though you had just thought of them yourself.

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Books of poetry are ideal for this. Poetry is almost always meant to be read aloud, and the concentration required to be able to read a poem naturally will help distract you from feeling silly.
Keep talking for a little while. Try to speak out loud for at least a minute. Over time, this will help you get used to initiating conversations and speaking your mind, which are important skills for making a good impression on your crush.


3
Talk to girls. Wherever you interact with women on a regular basis – work, school, clubs, or elsewhere – make an extra effort to engage in small talk with them. This will teach you that there is nothing to fear about talking to a girl, even if you have a crush on her.
Start with people you already interact with a little bit, like coworkers. Ask them how their week has been going, and use short questions to encourage them to talk more. Most girls will be glad to talk with you for a moment.

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If a girl asks about your week after she's told you about hers, do the polite thing and tell her, in about the same level of detail she used when talking to you. (Leave out the fact that you're trying to get better at talking to girls.)
Be friendly with project partners. At school or during community service, you will often be paired with a partner. When your partner is a girl you don't know very well, a little geniality will go a long way towards making things comfortable for both of you.
Try talking about the project rather than asking about her. If she responds well, continue on, and mix in small talk and simple questions as you go along.
Don't ask her about herself or her life. Instead, ask her what she thinks of another person, such as the teacher, or an upcoming event you both know about.
Don't talk too often. Show that you're primarily interested in being helpful and completing your project together. Speak as thoughts come to you, rather than pushing the conversation along.

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4
Keep the conversation going for a little while. Ask her about people and places you both know. Respond lightly when she answers your questions, and use gentle humor to offer your opinions.
For example, if you both had a class with a teacher named Mr. Smith who always seemed tired, you could ask her about Mr. Smith, and respond with an observation about how tired he always looked when she answers your question.

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